she comes in waves.
there’s never a warning,
it’s always a surprise.
unable to breathe
left wanting,
in need of
air –
gasping.
tired eyes clenched tight –
it’ll pass soon.
in the meantime,
i’m left
drowning,
waiting.
like someone sitting
on my chest
a heaviness
i can’t catch my breath.
it’s a dizziness,
a brightness,
a constant motion,
unable to be still.
a malignancy
rotting me
from the inside out.
although she comes in waves,
it’s an unstoppable force
and i need to breathe.
