sometimes i think we won’t make it. that’s my biggest fear – that we will accidentally, intentionally hurt each other in the worst way possible. there would be no going back from that. when doors are slammed, voices raised, words breaking, jaws clenching. when we forget, for a moment, how to love. instead – we hate with such an exhaustive passion that the fires will never be banked. i’ve witnessed enough war, walked on enough landmines, to understand loss. i can’t lose them. they’re all i have, all that i’m worth. i hate the long silences; the aftermath is louder than our voices breaking from overuse. the silence is walking past each other, invisible, ignoring the existence of the other; there, a ghost in the living room. the wait for the emotional fallout is more deadly than the war itself.